My Bad Attitude

I woke up, with a terrible attitude Monday morning. I really wanting some extra sleep (I have 3 days off before I have some subbing scheduled) but Kira had other plans. She was up and crying at 5:45am and Collin was getting ready for work so that meant I had to be up too. As The Hubs is getting ready for work I was griping and complaining about how "I never want another puppy again" and "This is not fun at all, I can't do anything without worrying about her" I went on and on about how since he is working I have to do everything and I know it's not his fault but it's not fun to do all the work and to feel like I am tied to her. In true Collin style he responds "Fine, we can take her to a shelter" he knew that would get to me and make me defend her. So I explained saying "I love her and I want to keep her, I just want her to grow up already." We had a rough night with her the night before and I was home alone with her all evening the previous day and was just exhausted. It didn't help that it was literally 2 degrees outside with snow on the ground and ridiculously strong winds. 

This is The Hubs and I exhausted from our rough night with Kira.

Basically from 6am to 8am I was cranky and felt no love for this precious, little puppy because I was throwing myself a pity party. And don't even get me started on how it got me feeling about motherhood (which I am incredibly excited for, just not ready quite yet). We are confining her to the kitchen because the rest of the house is carpet so I have been parking it at the kitchen table all day, which also happens to be one of the coldest, least cozy spots in the house. I was cranky and getting annoyed with her because I was cold and tired and wanted to be snuggled on the couch. She was getting into things she wasn't suppose to and then crying for no reason. I was feeling sorry for myself, trying to enjoy reading blogs while watching her every move when she came and laid down right at my feet. She slept right on top of them keeping them toasty warm as I blogged and drank some cappuccino. Slowly my heart melted again and I realized that this wasn't so bad after all. In fact, this was a really sweet moment. 

In all the hard, exhausting, frustrating and down-right dirty moments of raising a puppy, there are really sweet moments tucked in between. This got me to thinking how this is a lot like life in general. There are so many crappy, tough moments and I have a tendency to just feel sorry for myself and focus on all the negative. I think about why things should go better for me and why bad things shouldn't happen to me. I love to have control and if it were up to me, my life would be all sunshine and roses. Well, I think God intentionally throws curveballs to show us that we are most definitely not in control! But, because he is such a loving father, he also, very thoughtfully places those sweet moments in there too!

I am a first time puppy mom and I knew it was going to be hard work, but it is way more work than I expected. I know that things will get easier, but until then I am going to soak in those sweet moments and also... work on my attitude!

She really is worth all the hard work though.